Take every chance, drop every fear

Fear is not a tangible thing, but it should be. It would make it so much easier to deal with. I would venture to say we all experience fear, some on  higher levels than others. 

I have fears. Strange sounds during the night. Confrontation with authority (the boss on a job for example). Fear of not measuring up to ??? standards. I can continue but you get the idea. Those are some of the ones I can put a name on, but there are those that I know I am feeling fear, I just am not quite sure what triggered it or what to do about it. 

I call on God a lot, put the situation in His hands. Sometimes I freeze and don't really do anything, figuring if I don't, the situation causing me fear will go away. Usually it gets worse. Just taking chances and going out of our 'comfort zone' can cause fear. 

I see posts like the above all the time, and others, which tells us to confront our fears, drop our fears, don't allow our fears to control us. Like all things we have to deal with, sometimes a tiny step at a time is all we can do. Sometimes we need professional help to deal with those fears. Some can just look their fear head on and move on. Whatever your situation is, the main thing is you do SOMETHING about  your fear. That tiny step, help, facing it head on or just trying to figure out what is causing it when you are not sure. Try and do something, anything. The more you deal with it, the easier it gets. I have always found the worst thing about fear is actually the fear itself and what it causes. We all have fears. It is up to each one of us to do what we can to deal with them. Just remember,  you are not alone. You CAN do this!!

Give and take

Sometimes that is all you can do in a day... give what you can and take what you need.

A very good question. What is your happy thought? As I started to write I stopped to think and realized that I had many and could not pick just one. 

In trying to start a new routine for the animals each morning I realize it also brightens my day. Life has settled into a very comfortable, happy place. Things are taking shape around the house, the pets are settling in. I get lots of purrs, wags and love. I also realize that I have been getting very burned out the last 2 1/2 years. Taking care of a loved one with dementia is much more difficult than I ever imagined. I also know her fall could have been so much worse than a broken leg and I think it was a wake up call to me. Also giving me a much needed break with her going into the nursing home for  rehab and healing.

I find myself needing "something" from those who come into my life in the form of a visit or a call, but not knowing what. At the same time I did not want that phone to ring or people to come over because I just did not have the energy to "give" anything or anyone. I used to find I was like a light and people like moths were drawn toward my energy. This last year especially I found myself searching for that light in others. Now I think that something was a form of a lifeline because I felt like I was drowning. It is not just the physical energy you expend taking care of someone, in my case a parent, but also mental and at time it felt the very essence of my being was slowly seeping away. 

I don't know what is going on in  your life or how you are feeling. All I can do is share some of what I have gone through and hope it helps someone to know they are not alone, those feelings they have are not foreign or wrong. They are our bodies trying to tell us something and we need to listen. It may mean we need more help and it is not a betrayal to our loved ones to get that. If we don't help ourselves, we cannot help others. 

My happy thought? I am thankful to have been given the chance to refind my light and energy that I may be able to help others find theirs. 

How often do you plan to get a 'whole list of things' done only to find at the end of the day you may have managed some on the list, but not all? My days are like that. They pass with amazing speed and I look back and think, I have not gotten anything done! What I forget to look at is all of the small things I do every day. Cook, dishes, light cleaning, laundry, take care of the pets, fire in the stove...  Not a lot but these things take time regardless. I have a couple hours a day where I visit mom in the nursing home. Before I know it, the day is gone and another one is starting. Life flies by so quickly, the birthdays, holidays all come much faster than before. We just need to remember that the little things we do each day also count, even more when they are done with great love!  Put love in those things you do daily and be thankful for the opportunity to be able to do them each day. 

How  true is this?  
First, let me wish everyone a Happy Easter. This is my first post in a very long time. I obviously have gotten off track and need to get it back together. Mom ended up in a nursing home last week due to a fall here at home breaking her leg. After she is used to being there a bit more, I will miss a day or two a week in going and giving me more time to play catch up here at home and out in the yard. Time to find all those things under bushes, in corners and out of sight. That brings me to those hidden things within us.

We are always hiding things from ourselves. Our minds often don't let us see the things that are true about ourselves as others see us. It is hard to accept that we are not perfect and never will be. We have flaws, vulnerabilities, bad habits. I think the key is to always being trying to be better. Looking at the positive part of our lives. Thinking positive thoughts. As Lent is now ended, I hope you were able to take those 40 days and look more inside yourself to see what changes you needed to make. I know I have.  Again, Happy Easter and my you begin your positive journey today.

Happy Fathers Day!

I know I have been delinquent with this blog, as well as my other blogs... I am keeping up with new posts on facebook and my pages there. Just not enough hours in the day or energy to follow through if there were more hours. Summer is now upon us, garden is still not totally in but may just go with what is there. The grand daughter graduated, 3.76 GPA from a class of 378. We are all very proud of her. We are actually accomplishing things and you can see it happening. Off the top of my head that is all of the positives I can come up with spur of the moment. 

What are you grateful for?? 

Being a parent is, in my opinion a very difficult thing to do, especially in this day and age. I personally would not like to be growing up right now. It was difficult enough when we were growing up and things were much safer, slower and straight-forward. It is hard enough to just keep up with the changes happening everyday around us, let alone around the world which we are now all privy to. All you can do is try and instill right from wrong, respect for others, a firm belief system and be there when the kids need you. Also, try and make sure the kids are self assured...and they like who they are. God didn't make junk or mistakes. They need to know they are accepted for who they are, and you are proud of them. That much goes a long way. We don't often get do-overs, so make the best of each day not only with your family but with yourself as well.  

Peace be with you.

Who is the person you want to be?

We are not talking about that person when you used to think...what do I want to be when I grow up. We are NOT what we do... it is who we ARE that  counts. How you think, act, when no one is around. How you treat others. We are not the pain, anguish and scarred person we may think we are. Who do you want to be if not the person you know/think you are? Only you can change you. Focus on who you want to be and work toward that.