Today I am in a process of flux. All is changing, moving, trying to finish things and start new. I apologize for not posting for such a long time. My life has totally changed and I am still trying to catch up to the changes. 

I see the last time I posted was back in June of 2013. I was in Paris France, life was moving along according to my schedule. July 2, 2013 my husband passed away and all changed. I am back in Michigan, mom and 2 friends live here with me and life is so different from what I had lived the past 15 years. Instead of seeing Paris all around me, I see nature. Instead of a small apartment I am back in the family home. Some of the changes are good for me, some I don't care for. But, life does not always give us the choices we want, it gives us what we are to live. 

I will try and get a computer equipped with the files I need to do what I want to get this up and running again. That room, which will be the new "office" is in the middle of a tear-apart, hence...no external to post with! I need to make parts of the house more...ME... not still those who used to live here and are now gone. I need to make this house my "HOME" and get it organized. It has been in either a holding pattern for the last year or a state of flux or both, but nothing has really happened to be truly organized or set up the way I want it. I have not been able to get to the life I packed up 16 years ago when I left for France. I suddenly realize this is not a quick process, but a long, extended one of sorting, moving, getting rid of and trying to 'fix' things that are just now how I want. I need to learn to go one room at a time and in the mean time be organized enough so things run smoothly for all. Soon we will be down to 3 of us here which will make it much easier as I will gain 1/2 my garage and 1 1/2 rooms which will also give the space to be able to sort and move boxes into. Then I can truly begin to get things set up. 

For me, the things around me need to be in order for my mind to calm. My goal is to have a garage I can park in, have things in order enough to find what I need when I need it, get rid of all that is not needed or wanted and to have some time for me to do some of the things I enjoy doing while trying to live life each day instead of wishing it was not how it is. Tall order!!  But, my goal is positive, I am trying to focus on the positive around me instead of the negative and move on. 

Grief is something that needs to be worked through while trying to stay positive. I grieve for my husband, my friends in Paris, my life that was there. I struggle with a lack of funds, a life that changed without it being in my plans and a mother living with me with dementia. Life will not necessarily be what I had planned, but it is still my life and I will learn to live it as it is now. I need to focus on positive things, live life daily and be happy.  Thank you for still being there through all of this and I hope this blog did and will continue to help you though what ever you may be going through as well. 

Peace be with you.