It is Saturday Again.

The sun is trying to shine.  It may be a good day to go out and move some leaves to the garden, see if I can move the things around so it is done for this year. Pull out the blower... Hoping I don't have to use it much this year!

Thank you Tiny Buddha. 

I can't remember how many times I have heard the first part in different forms.  I know I needed the second part much more.  I once had a person close to me tell me there are two types of people in this world.  There are the flowers and then there are the gardeners. Which are you?  I tend to be the gardener. I would love to experience being a flower for a change.

I think it is easier than we realize to lose ourselves.  It happens a little at a time. Especially if you are a caregiver, 'gardener', empath or just generally a nice person.  There is burnout when  you are the first two-three
. I was told not long ago that "you are just burned out" after talking to a friend of mine in France.  She used to be a professional counselor. Actually she called me two days later to tell me that after thinking about all I had said.  That and dealing with grief that I have not done.  Didn't have time to do that when I came back from France. Grief from leaving my home, friends...my husband dying. Since then I have lost 4 friends there. My mom here, other friends here.  The hits just keep coming. 

Thank you Imperfectly Simple! 

Now I am working on the inside of the house. Sorting, changing things around, cleaning.  I want to figure out what I 'want' and don't want. What is me and the rest goes. Seems daunting, but I will just go from corner to corner through the house until it is fairly done.  I know it will never be totally done as long as I am alive, as I change, so does what I want around me.

I know I am  not 'broken', I just need some time and rest. Peace. Hopefully I will get all I need this winter. 

Have a great Saturday!!